THE STING

I don't know why I thought you'd save the day
'Coz if anything
You were always meant to walk away, away
And I don't know what we're fighting for
'Coz it's not what I want anymore
I don't know why I thought you've save the day, the day

But I never loved you anyway
I Just wanted who you promised you could be

I wanna feel the sting of the real thing
'Stead of the false alarm when I was in your arms
When you left last night, I did my best to cry
But I never felt that sting
I'm still waiting on the real thing

Baby you don't owe a thing to me, anymore
'Coz now I got a reason to believe
And I'm waiting for
A trust that never needs a ring
Someone who tells me everything
Honey, you can never be that for me, for me

Because you never loved me anyway
You just wanted who you got to be with me

Now I wanna feel the sting of the real thing
'Stead of the false alarm when I was in your arms
When you left last night, I did my best to cry
But I never felt that sting
I'm still waiting on the real thing

I thought it was more then what it was
You swore we would never come undone
But I'll wait a lifetime
If forever's what it takes for something real

Still waiting to feel the sting of the real thing
'Stead of the false alarm when I was in your arms
When you left last night, I did my best to cry
But I never felt that sting
I'm still waiting on the real thing

we meet for the last time,we path by ema jaafar

it plays over and over again in my mind,like something sort of horrible movie.don't think I have ever told you how I felt the last time we met.your deep brown eyes were so fascinating,I remember being nervous and you walked out to greet me.that was the last time in which your eyes met mine.a pair of dark brown eyes as big and deep.I felt like I could lose myself in them.and that’s when I realized that I already loved you and that's not easy to forget the moment that we have been through.you filled my heart with so much joy,but then something went wrong it was in a blink of an eye how you took it all away.You started to fade away, and I begun to see who you really were. We said good bye.Im not going to stress over you anymore.It isnt worth it.I tried to work something out but you just ignored it.Im not trying to say I dont want you,because I definitely do.All Im saying is Im done chasing after you.

Im fighting to get you out of my head but Im holding onto every word that you ever said last night.my heart raced and felt like it would burst out of my chest.It was like the home run feeling,that jump over the fence feeling.I was swept off my feet! And when you hug me and I felt like I couldn't breathe.my knees suddenly went weak.what saddened me and broke my heart last night is when you said that is our last conversation between us.When I think back to those days we had,it aches me again and again,for I could not have imagined that you had made such terrible mistakes.dont you realize it?

you really broke my heart and Im not going to be that rebound girl,the girl you just come to when you want her,the girl who loves you with everything she has but yet you give nothing.Im not willing to be that girl anymore.Sorry,sweetie,but Im gone.Im done with tears.Im wiping my eyes.If you doesnt care then why the hell should I?Nevertheless,You will always be my first and greatest love.You will always live in my memory for all eternity and i only hope and pray that the path you are on of self discovery includes me when you reach the end of that path. the decision that you will make regarding us is free will - not chance, not luck but a thought out decision that will have profound effects and changes on so many lives. We, going our separate ways, might work out for the better but it is still an unknown thought. I can't say what is best for you.We will be so far down the road,more mature,and more secure than ever before.

but I still do care and have love for you,no matter what.We have had times which,no one else could ever replace, neither your place nor my place.The last night we spent together was something I have needed for so long.at least you tell me the truth eventhough i wish it would have never ended.I thought seeing you again would make me nervous but it felt as it always has.But I decided that enough is enough,that since you obviously dont care about me anymore Im just going to move on.Easier said than done I suppose,because at the end of the day Im staring out the window with these tears on my cheeks. Look what youve done to me.Thank you very much!You left a hole in my heart when you walked out the door, but maybe now I can move on.


*p/s: i've made this three weeks ago but nowadays alhamdulillah,i thank god because everythings have been settled down.bukan senang nak jujur tp 3hari lepas aku lega kami dah berbaik.kalau ada perkataan yang lebih baik dari indah,akan aku ungkapkan sebagaimana perasaan aku ini.walaupun sama,asyik gaduh kemudian baik tapi perasaan ni dah rasi selama 4 tahun.walaupun sebagai teman.mereka takkan tahu macamana kehadiran dia mengubah aku.mereka takkan tahu perasaan sakit bila setiap kali kehilangan dia.aku tak boleh hidup tanpa dia.untuk gig harini,perform elok-elok ye An.All the best dude.i miss you

aku tak faham kenapa ada juga perempuan macam ni di dalam dunia?FUCK OFF

how stupid you are,sorry to say.but you are really stupid.useless gila?my friends gonna notice it la wei.kenapa bajet sangat :D sungguh memalukan diri sendiri sial. mari bersama sama ketawa dan bandingkan aku dengan dia hahaha its embarassed thing ever! copying me copying another? jangan sampai aku burukkan nama awak pada orang lain ye poser.thanks because you treat me like i'm YOUR ANGEL BITCH

growing stronger everyday

Looking back,i have this to regret..'An one day you'll love me,the way I loved you.One day you'll think of me the way I thought of you.One day you'll cry for me,the way I cried for you.One day you'll want me,but I won't want you.' 

And now god have already put spell on you,so you cant forget about me An.i'm not held back by the love i didn’t receive in the past.this before i thought that it's impossible for me to forget about us,forget about those days that we've been through.i may regret the way we ended but I will never regret what we had.it hurts to leave it.but now i'm stronger.stronger than before..

************************

sekarang tu bukan masalah aku dah.sbb lepasni memang kita takkan jumpa kan?i hope so.

walaupun aku dah bahagia,aku masih tak faham kenapa bila kita dah jumpa seseorang yang istemewa,ada yang tak suka/ada yang tak kena?

mungkin memang aku dengan dia tak lama,mungkin mereka tak suka,mungkin aku akan dapat orang yang lebih bagus,mungkin dia taknak serious dengan aku dan mungkin juga kami takkan pernah bersama?mungkin juga sebagainya

tapi mereka dan mereka tak faham apa yang aku lalui dengan mel.mereka semua taktahu apa yang sedang terjadi antara aku dengan dia.ini bukan sembang pasal aku dah lovesick,backing him,nor whatv.mereka semua patut tahu dia seorang lelaki yang layan aku dgn baik.aku bukannya nak bangga,aku taknak pun sebenarnya puji dia.mungkin dia pun bukan la sebaik yang aku sangkakan.tapi......apa yang aku rasa sekarang adalah apa yang aku lalui.apa yang aku lalui sekarang cuma aku sorang je yang tahu.bukan senang.i know if my parent find out pun they would say as they did/as you did..as for me.he's just another guy whos PERFECT....... fyi,keluarga aku bukan macam keluarga orang lain.aku tau semua ni ada hikmahnya.

aku dah cukup banyak hal banyak masalah aku dah pernah lalui.dan sekarang tolonglahhh aku taknak hidup aku dipenuhi dengan masalah orang lain yang boleh bebankan aku.aku nak study,aku taknak masalah.biarla hati aku jauh dari segala masalah.biarlah aku tenang dan bahagia di samping dia.aku tak kisah lama ke tak,kekal ke tak.prinsip aku cuma appreciate masa yang aku ada.bila tiba masa pisah nanti takadala aku frust menonggeng.aku tak pernah rasa so emo pasal lelaki..except An.tak percaya sudah ye.jauh lagi perjalanan hidup kita.kita masih muda.takpayah nak gigih sangat,tak payah nak sedih sangat.just close your eyes and be a happy go lucky person.such a waste sebab masa tak boleh dibeli

 i love you dude,i will always do

you're my past

i dont know why my hands shaking,my fingers shaking,tears droping.do you love me An?dont you hate me? i can feel your love,regrets,but why you didnt appreciate me at all.i've already found someone else who loves me.you know him right?he cares for me.you are so comfortable to be with,but he's just someone else that is better than you.you're different than him.its too difficult to choose between you and him.you sacrificed everything for me,you still love me even i have been unfaithfull and fooling around with you,with your friends,you still love me even i've told you a lie.but nowadays he's the one who hold me,who always being there for me when nobody else was.i cant make myself to love you back.i've been filling this empty space between us.maybe its for the best.at first i didnt want to forget about you.An,maybe we will find something better.i will always miss you.and i promise you'll never fade from mymemories ;'((

aku taktau perasaan apa yang aku rasa ni,tapi rasa teruk sangat.aku taknak sayang kat orang mcm hg dah an.hg bukan yang terbaik.hg layan aku macam aku ni tak berguna.aku dah cuba berubah utk hang tapi apa yang aku dapat?cepatnye hg berubah?mungkin salah aku dulu aku dengan banyak jantan.teruk aku dulu.sampai hang pun serik dgn aku,sampai hang dah takde commitment dgn aku.sampai hg dah taknak kat aku yg teruk ni kan.hg yang buat aku macam bola,bukan aku.maaf sgt kita takkan boleh jadi kawan atau apa pun.kalau hang layan aku dgn baik dulu,semua ni takkan jadi macamni.aku takkan dengan orang lain,aku takkan dengan dia tapi...its all over

my inspiration

i made this for him

IN YOUR ARMS BY EMA 


when i'm with you
i've seen love die way 
you'll be the only lights i see
right there,keep it right there


when i felt lonely
you held me tight
come on,i'm breaking the britches
at the end of all your lines


i wanna be in your arms
even though i saw you're coming
it still hurt,its hurt to see
when you're not here


i ran away in my sleep
every now,i fall apart
never leave me,never leave you
i wanna be in your arms,in your arms